Hi there. Is the job done?
Oh, sorry. That was supposed to go to my hitman. All these different conversations I’m having at the same time. Forget you saw that.
Hi there. I’m glad you’re here.
While this place still has that fresh, new blog smell, I wanted to mention some things. I’m sure it won’t take longer than a blog post.
Listen, if you remember the old blog, this one is going to be different. What that most likely means for you is that this blog isn’t going to be all laughs all the time like the old 2HT.
See the Karl on the left there? That’s circa 2008, back when I would do most anything for a laugh. Look at Today Karl, though, on the right. Does that guy look like he has a sense of humor? No. No, he does not. You can tell by that very serious intimate candid selfie I took this morning.
Don’t worry, there’s still going to be funny, just not jumping-out-of-airplanes-on-my-birthday-dancing-in-my-boxers funny. (I still dance in my boxers. I’m just not giving that up for free any more. NOTE TO SELF: Create a Patreon account.)
Now, for you new friends and the old ones, I’m going to be diving into all kinds of different things here. Lighter fare such as pop culture will most definitely be on the syllabus, for sure. I’ll be talking about music and how Sugar Ray and Smash Mouth must be banned from the universe. I love movies, so I’ll likely discuss films I’ve seen and maybe solicit movie-watching ideas from you. TV is far too prevalent in my life, so we’ll talk about that, including how much the world needs a “Quantum Leap” reunion with a proper damn ending.
I’ll talk about cool technology, web sites, and phone apps I like. Small-town life is probably going to come up once or twice because it can be surreal, comical, and maddening all at the same time. We’ll be talking a lot about sports. No, sorry, I’m bullshitting you right there. I don’t even know why I said that. Probably to appear more manly or some such crap. I hate sports and will definitely not be writing about that. Seriously, if it involves balls and scores, it can piss off. But I will be putting my favorite recipes on here…no, no. I can’t cook worth a shit. No food blog here. I’m not going on “Master Chef” anytime soon. Hmm, what kind of niche do I fit in? Not even sure what’s popular in blogging any more. I do need a niche, right?
You need to know that it’s not going to be all fun and games, though. I plan to hit the hard topics, things people don’t normally like to discuss because they’re too controversial or they make people uncomfortable. That’s going to include things like how dill pickles and lima beans are vile, disgusting things that barely qualify as food. And, listen, if that’s a problem for you, this may be a good time for you to just step away. I’ll understand completely. That’s a rather sharp stance for someone to take, I know, but I stand by it. Also, Geddy Lee’s voice should be used for enhanced interrogation techniques. And Miracle Whip is better than mayonnaise.
It totally is, deal with it.
Seriously, though, no joke. I will be talking about heavier topics. I’ll let you know right now that I’m a liberal living in a rural retirement town in central Florida where “TRUMP THAT BITCH!” stickers are still popular on truck bumpers, often accompanied by truck nuts. I suppose it’s because Trump’s MAGAheads don’t yet seem to realize Mango Man won two and a half years ago. It’s so much fun living in Trumplandia! So yes, I will most definitely be discussing politics at times. And clearly I am not a fan of Trump. I’ll also likely be talking about social and environmental issues and all sorts of other things. Who knows? I’m still figuring it all out and letting the sparks of creativity take me where they may.
FYI, to help cut down on trolls (which I haven’t missed), comments are moderated, unlike the old blog where anything went. I need to approve the comments, so don’t worry if yours doesn’t show up right away. I’m not censoring you. Unless you’re a troll, in which case you can fuck right off.
Oh, right. That brings me to another point: cursing. I do it.
SecondHand Tryptophan is NSFW, gang. That’s “Not Safe For Work,” just in case you’ve been stuck 100 years in the past. I hope you realize that means it’s also not safe for your kids. Please, I cannot believe I need to say this, but do not let your kids read this blog. Don’t let them near you or sit on your lap while you’re reading this blog. I say this because I used to get occasional complaints with the old blog. Somebody would read a post and laugh a few times and their kids would come over to see what was so funny. Then the kid would see the word “fuck” or “dickhead” and I’d hear shit about it. So let’s just put it out there plainly. I say “fuck” and “shit” and sometimes make up combinations thereof and if your kids see that fuckshit, it’s on you. And don’t even think about calling me to come down to the principal’s office when your foul-mouthed heathen starts calling kids motherfuckers on the playground. Seriously, how bad a parent are you for letting your kids use such language? Someone should call child services.
What else can you expect to see here? I have bipolar disorder, PTSD, and anxiety so there’s a pretty good chance that’s coming up. Mental health is a pretty large part of my life. I’m also diabetic, so there’s that. Hell, between the mental issues and the physical ones, I take so many pills I sound like a maraca when I walk. Or, if you’re Trump, I sound like Morocco when I walk. (I’m throwing that one in for free.)
I’m kind of getting the old voice warmed up. It’s slowly happening. I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew here, so I have absolutely no intention of trying to write daily like I did before. Instead, I have joined together with a friend and we’ve made a commitment to post something new every Friday. We’ll hold each other accountable and send virtual glitter bombs if the other one misses a Friday. This feels very doable. No doubt I’ll post more than that, but once a week is all I’m promising myself.
In the meantime, I hope you’ll check out my very modern blogroll page. It’s still evolving but it’s a list of other bloggers you can check out. Most of them are the O.G. bloggers I know from back in the day when writing and a sense of community were prevalent. Before Facebook killed our blogs.
I need to find some kind of blogroll plugin to make organizing the list easier. It’s going to get bigger as more people relaunch their blogs, and that’s already happening, people. I’ve talked to more than a few who are in the process of coming back to the fold. Many people have told me in the last week how much they miss blogging and interacting with other writers. And I’m pestering more to do the same. I’m such a pusher.
This potential resurgence in personal blogging has been building for a while, I think. I’m clearly not the only one who was feeling a stir to begin posting again. And that’s some kind of exciting.